Well, maybe not a heaven, but last year I planned a trip that turned out to be well beyond my reach.

I’m a bit of a train nut, and as my retirement approached I was making plans to spend some time on VIA Rail and Amtrak. Then of course, those plans were derailed (please excuse the pun) first when first my stepfather fell sick and had to move into a care home, and then when my mother came to live with me. No how was I going anywhere. And I didn’t want to. My mother, however, did encourage me to take a trip if I wanted. And I did check out some short term care facilities where she might be able to stay for a week or two. But the more I thought about it, the less confident I became with the idea, even though at the time she was still in pretty good shape mentally.

Moving forward a couple of years, I found myself riding the rails with YouTubers who have dedicated railway travel sites. I must have logged a few thousand miles with them, exploring trains from North America, to Europe, and Japan. It’s great stuff, but it’s not the real thing. And I guess I had not given up entirely on the idea of boarding a real train and going somewhere, anywhere.

Enter the push chair. With it, my mother’s mobility suddenly expanded our horizons. We went all over the place with an ease we had not experienced before. And I had a brainwave, more like a brain cramp as it turned out, that we could take the train from Winnipeg to Vancouver, spend a few days, and return by train. (She can’t fly, especially now. Or I am afraid to let her fly.) But a train with a bedroom for two, our meals included, seemed like the perfect opportunity. I put the proposition to her, told her how wonderful it would be, and she said, “Okay.”

With a green light to proceed, I duly books our accommodations on the train, and a hotel only a few blocks from the waterfront. Hurrah! Not only was I going to get my train ride, my mother would have the trip of a lifetime to remember…or not. Her short term was already a problem and was getting worse.

I was thrilled to tell my friends and they were thrilled for us. But then we went to Gimli. It’s a lovely town on the western shore of Lake Manitoba and only about an hour’s drive from Winnipeg. Apart from the car’s air-conditioning breaking down, we arrived safely and in time for lunch. I pulled the push chair out of the trunk and we set off to the restaurant we wanted to go to. Which was when I had an “oh my” moment, and not a good one either.

Though the push chair was absolutely the best way to get around parks and the shopping mall and parking lots, it proved to be not so good on the real streets of a real town. But the restaurant wasn’t too far away, and the bumpy ride was tolerable. We had lunch, and then bravely set off to explore a bit of the town. After only a few blocks, my hands and arms were getting numb from trying to find the smoothest path through sometimes broken sections of sidewalk, with my mum was bouncing all over the place. Not that Gimli isn’t a great place to visit, it is. But I was beginning to worry, maybe the chair wouldn’t be so great either on the streets of Vancouver.

We drove home. My mother didn’t complain about the failure of the air-conditioning as I thought she might, but about sitting in the car for so long. It made her very unconformable. And this was only a two-hour drive, an hour each way. Oh oh. This did not bode well.

Still, I knew we could get her and her push chair onto the train with the help of VIA staff, but what if we got on board and she had a bad day or two bad days, or she wanted to sleep most of the day? The same with Vancouver. Spend our three days there in our room because my mother was feeling too tired to go out? My dreams of a wonderful holiday began to slip away with a bunch of what-ifs, not the least of which being what would happen if she fell seriously ill or had an accident? I’m a bit of a worrywart, okay, I agree. I take after my grandmother in this respect.

After many sleepless nights, I asked my mother if she wouldn’t mind if we did not go to Vancouver. She said, “Okay.”

Hmmm. So I cancelled all our plans, lost almost a thousand dollars in the process, but was able to enjoy a new sense of calm. Day-to-day would be good enough for us. Going to the park and for a drive out into the country would have to do.

I no longer try to figure out ways to get away on a train for a few days. And I’m happy with that. Besides, this summer we might take a ride on The Prairie Dog Central, a vintage train pulled by a steam engine that takes passenger on run out and back at a location not too far from us.

After all, what a heaven for?